A Room with a View
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IMDB rating: 7.50 Plot: Lucy Honeychurch, a young Englishwoman, makes her first visit to Florence, Italy in the early 1900’s. There, she meets a quiet yet eccentric young man named George Emerson. Upon her return to England, Lucy must decide whether to follow through with her marriage to her stotic fiance, Cecil, or follow her heart and her growing attraction to George. |
Actors: Elliott Denholm,Sands Julian,Callow Simon,Godfrey Patrick,Day-Lewis Daniel,Graves Rupert,Cellier Peter,Comedy,Drama,Romance,
Is This too boring for the beinning of a novel? What can i do to improve (introduction)?
My name is Liz and I’m turning 16 this fall. I am not one of those teenagers that get into trouble. I pretty much get what I want when I want without hassle. My mom is the sweetest woman on earth and my dad spoils the both of us rotten. I couldn’t ask for a better pair of parents. I sort of run my household. My parents are lucky to have a daughter like me who would never take their kindness for weakness. I am similar to ther backbone. There are no set rules because I hardly do anything which is by choice. The typical teen would think I’m a total nerd but surprisingly I am considered popular. Obviously because of my appearance but of course this is shallow junior high school where looks are more important than getting an education to some. Pathetic in my opinion. I don’t have any friends and I’m probally viewed as stuck up. The furthest from the truth. I can’t help it if I can’t have an educated conversation with teens my age. I’m so irritated with girls the most.Their discussions consist of boys,sex, and gossip nothing that I would want to discuss. While they’re at the beach i’m learning to speak foreign languages. I speak 3 different languages now. I’m usually home alone alot which isn’t a problem at all. My parents knows that I am responsible. I don’t see what the big deal is about the boys at my school anyway sure some have grown more attractive since elementary but nothing to obsess over. I am no lesbian but guys my age wers jerks.It’s not that I didn’t want to date. Tomorrow will be the first day of high school. I’m hoping it will be less annoying than junior high.
"Are you ready for your 1st day of school?" my mom asked excited.
"I am" I replied. "Hopefully it’s less annoying than junior high school"
"It willl be just fine, get dressed I want to take your picture for your first day of high school"
"Mom please this isn’t kindergarden."
My mom was my best friend although we were the total opposites. She was a big ball of fire the life of the party and I was more of an earth girl. I decided to wear a pair of seven’s for all mankind jeans which were my favorite and an off the shoulder bcbg top. I was a fashio addict.
My mom was waiting for me in the front room camera in hand. After taking a dozen photos I insisted that she stop. My mother was 40 going on 18 she referred to me as an old soul beyond my years.
I grabbed a banana and a botled water which would hold me to lunch and I was off to school.
School is where Liz meets a bad boy and surprisingly falls in love with him. She finds out she’s pregnant and face a life decision
i just started righting this like 10 minutes ago so it’s just off the top of my head although I know where it’s headed
i’m rushing i see so many errors lol thank you all
Should Liz have friends??? Or leave her as a loner. Later she becomes a serial killer anyway
I suggest to vary language. Do not keep using "I’ (Not to be rude, but my teacher tells us this all the time and it might sound vague/dull) Other than that, it sounds good i guess, but like i said just vary the language (words)
EDIT: there are some grammar mistakes too. Have a teacher or someone go over it.
Hoped i helped
Muggle Jaz 
| Feb 05, 2010
It’s easy to follow..but work on your punctuation and more importantly, content. You’re constantly telling and telling and telling about your life. You need a hook. "My name is Liz" is something you’d find in a 5th grader’s diary entry. Add suspense. Add drama. But you’re off to a great start; I can tell you worked hard.
Good luck! <3
Help with mine, please!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index; _ylt=AvVyumGTxRu7YNb0F1SO44oazKIX;_ylv=3 ?qid=20100205155151AAGCsJk
The others | Feb 05, 2010
I like it so far! You’ll need to fix the spelling/grammar a bit, and maybe change the second "less annoying than junior high school" so its not the exact same phrase as before…
the story is great so far, good luck!
Alice_Hermione_1 | Feb 05, 2010
Honestly, I’m too tired to give a verdict on the entire thing, but from a quick scan through I can tell you that you do need to do a grammar scan (maybe ask a teacher to go through it for you?) and also make the intro a bit more interesting, for example, if I was writing a story about a shock horror murder, rather than saying
"I was 15 years old when it happened", I’d say
"I still remember that day. It seems like so long ago, but I was only 15…"
Not the best, I know but, I can’t really be bothered thinking anything up xD
Good luck Mattyhehe | Feb 05, 2010
Well, kind of. Your first sentence needs to get the reader’s attention. Make them want to read on to figure out what your talking about. Here’s some suggestions (feel free to use any of it):
I am not a lesbian. I’m just not attracted to any of the boys at my school. True, some are rather cute, but it’s their personalities and immature qualities that throw me off. For that reason, my parents trust me. I’m usually left home alone. Which is fine by me, usually all my parents want to talk about is all the negative things that a teen has to deal with: boys, sex, drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc.
I’m a trouble maker, no doubt. But that doesn’t mean that I have to listen to the frivolous conversations that adults throw at me. I mean, I love my parents, don’t get me wrong. My mother is one of the sweetest women I know, and my father treats us both like queens. They even let me run most of the house at times. We don’t really have rules… But, sometimes, they can be a little overbearing.
Today for instance, as I was leaving for school, my mom stopped me in the kitchen.
"Liz, honey," she said, "are you ready for your first day of school?"
"I guess so, it’s not like I have much of an option, is it?" I replied. "I just hope high school is a little less annoying than the past few years.
"Oh, you’ll be fine," she assures me. "Go get dressed and I’ll take your picture. "
"Mom, please, this isn’t kindergarten, and I’m nearly sixteen."
[[ I can see a few misspellings and some grammar mistakes, also, but nothing that isn't too hard to fix. Good luck, and I hope that I helped.]]
Chocolate Unicorn
